Friday, May 29, 2009

longest short week ever

Sigh....I am beat. Thankful to the Lord for giving me the perks I needed this week.
I wonder why it is after a long week-end,
the work week following seems so much longer than 4 days.
I haven't had the energy or the brain power to blog this week.
What do I say? Wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed. repeat...
I am so very thankful for my ordinary life
that is extraordinary in it's ordinariness....
hahaha sorry, but that's funny..
Yeah I know I am loony.
I am up for the count, tho.
I will not go to bed until the laundry is done.
Thankful for a washer and dryer in my home that works.
There was a time when that wasn't the case.
back in the day when we still had kids at home
with one car and lived 35 miles from town.
Now, that took some organization. Came to town
every Monday to do laundry, shopping, errands
whatever needed to be done. In the summer
the kids and I would go to a movie or to
miller pool until Sid got off work. Those were good
times. Still grateful for the washer & dryer, tho. =]

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I love em for dinner.
Sid fixed them. doesn't get much better than that.
I asked if it was wrong to ask for more
from God where Sid's progress is concerned.
I didn't know if it was in some way a form
of ingratitude. I asked for prayer in that area
last week at ladies bible study.
My sisters assured me it wasn't wrong
to ask God for the desires of my heart.
Well, he isn't talking any better, but
his attitude and desire to pamper me
is waaay better. He has fixed my dinner
3 times in the last week. HUGE, improvement.
I didn't have to ask him, either. He was always
so thoughtful and attentive before the stroke,
and that part of his brain was affected. So, this
last few days I have had even more glimpses
of the "old" Sid, and it gives me hope and
makes me excited to see what God does
for us when we ask. So, I am going to ask
everyone I know to just keep praying for
Sid's continued healing, and for me to be
content with what God blesses me with.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


What a great weekend. And it isn't over yet!!
The kids showed up late Friday and surprised
Sid for his birthday. He was so happy. I wish
I was as easy to please as he is.
Really, it was just a whole lotta nothin
special, yet it was oh so very special.
I am so grateful to be aware of the HUGE
blessings in everyday, simple things.
So much of my life was spent in deep lows
or high highs that the constant mellow
seemed just way too boring. I am now
older and wiser(snicker) and realize
there is so much wonder and awe in
the everyday occurrences of life if I just
open my eyes and pay attention.
Off to enjoy some more of the weekend.

Friday, May 22, 2009

company's comin

Just found out that our son his wife and
4 granddaughters are coming for the weekend.
YIPPEE!!!!! Sid is going to be sooo surprised.
my "old man" is gonna be 60. YIKES!!
Don't know where the time has gone.
He has gone through so many changes in
the last few years. I thought I was going
to lose him when he had the stroke.
And here we are celebrating another
birthday. God is so good.
I know he will be really happy to see
the kids, even though we were just
over there last weekend.

I have been reflecting on our life together
and all the good times we've had.
I remember in particular our first "family vacation"
we loaded the kids and us in our 68 dodge van.
the engine sat between the front seats, and
you had to open up the butterfly in the carburetor
with your finger while you turned the key
to get it started. We didn't think anything of loading
up our children and taking off to the world's fair
in Canada. We had a great time. We came home
and found out we were evicted!! How hilarious is that.
I can tell you at the time, I found absolutely NO humor
in it, now it is one of those funny things.

Kind of like how I worked on our wedding night.
Which is a whole nuther story altogether.
I tell you, some of the stories are pretty cool.
I am sitting here smiling through a veil of grateful tears.
What a fantastic time we have had.
Good, Bad, Ugly, we have done it together.
And they said it wouldn't last....HAH

Thursday, May 21, 2009

new schedule

I have been going in to work at 9 instead of 6:30, and working later.
Needless to say, I am all out of whack. I am used to getting home
and having time to do a few chores, cook dinner, play on the computer while
Sid watches wheel of fortune, then maybe watch a little TV myself and off to bed.
Well, I've been getting up at 4 am(thanks Miss KanDee) and not really using that
time as well as I could. I read my bible in the am usually, and may do a load of
laundry or some FB. I really am a morning person. This new schedule is just temporary
until they hire someone, so I imagine when I get "used" to it, I will go back
to the old one. I am just grateful to be working. God is so good. All the time.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

blast from the past

I came home to dinner
cooked for me by my husband...
bacon and cheese omelets..yummy...
I have been working until 6 and it has been difficult to
come home after working 12 hours and fix dinner.
Not to mention Sid doesn't like to eat that late.
What was really cool, is that BTS
(before the stroke) He cooked dinner nearly every
night. He was home before me, it worked for us.
So this was like a deja-vu kind of thing.
I could smell the bacon as soon as I pulled into the driveway.
I love, and I mean ,LOVE bacon. I have flair that says
"bacon the pink vegetable" OH YEAH!! anyway, I digress.
It seems like when I get really down with our circumstances
and how Sid is, He has a day like today, where he is more like he
was. He knew I would be hungry, and
took care of it. He usually just waits for me
to get home to fix something,
or fixes himself a sandwich or something.
He doesn't think of me at all. (not sad, just fact)
I always feel bad for not being more accepting. I STILL
want him back how he used to be. I asked God for that very
thing once again just last week. Sid has made remarkable
progress that I am so very grateful for. So I always wonder
if asking for more is a form of ingratitude. I am so glad God
KNOWS my heart, I certainly don't always know.
I know that it is things like this that encourage me
to stay hopeful, and continue to
push Sid to improve. Think I'll go clean up the
kitchen now. =]

Sunday, May 17, 2009

needin another day...

What a great week-end.
Spent it with our son and his wife
and the 2 youngest granddaughters.
The boys went to the bike shop,
while us girls got our nails done and
did a little shopping. I Love my daughter-in-law!
She is such a great woman. I feel my son is
blessed to have her for his wife. We had a fantastic time
and are exhausted of course. They gave me my belated
Mother's day gift - Standup photo album full of
disney pictures, and a beautiful
framed photo of us at pixie hollow.
funny, it is the same photo I used to post on
this blog when we returned from D-land.
The frame says "Grandparents hold our hands
for a little while, but our hearts forever"
Boy is that the truth. I carry my Gramma
in my heart always. She was my favorite
grown-up when I was a kid. I have always
hoped I would be as good a
Gramma as her. I don't think I
can be, but I am sure gonna try. =]

Friday, May 15, 2009

headin out

We're heading to Spokane for the week=end. Get to see our son and Daughter-in-law and the granddaughters. Should be fun. Haven't seen them since we got back from Disneyland. Hopefully it will be good weather. Supposed to be. They have the Lilac Festival going on so it should be fun. I love Lilacs. If they lasted more than a couple weeks they would probably be my favorite flower. They actually are one of my favorite smells. I know it's spring when the fragrance of lilacs is full in the air.AHHH. So I am gonna leave work early (only 9 hours today) so we can get there this evening. Yippee...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

changed my mind

Well, I was gonna change the text colors,
but since I am a pro at changing my blog
background now, I just changed it instead.
And, I think the colors are just fine.
Thanks for the encouragement, Jodi.

I had a pretty rough day at work.
Maybe because I am tired and not
good at accepting criticism. Especially
when I don't believe it is valid. But I
just kept telling myself work as to the
Lord. I reminded myself I am an ambassador
and how I respond to situations is critical.
I did most of this in front of the bathroom
mirror trying to figure out how I was gonna
hide that I had obviously been crying.
Seriously, I have NEVER and I mean
NEVER been reprimanded in any way
at a job, so any type of criticism feels
like a personal assault. I had to really
search and ask God to show me if there
was any truth to it. You know what I got,
There wasn't any truth to the accusations
he faced. He was crucified for my whiny
self. That brought me back to reality.
Some things don't really matter. In a year,
today will be long forgotten. Hopefully,
I'll carry the lesson of the need for
some humility in my attitude.

just a morning person

Well, I did it.
On the first try.
Apparently I am unable to follow
clear directions after being up 14 hours.
I was able to change my blog background.
It was simple just like they said.
hmmm...wasn't simple the other night..
Well, I best be off to work..tata...
PS Yes, I plan on "fixing" the colors
on the text...=]

Monday, May 11, 2009

wasted days and wasted nights

I have just spent an hour trying to change my blog look.
Only to have it look basically the same, only I liked it
better before. =[..I did the cut and paste deal, but what the heck
is a widget and how do I save them? I went to the "help" site.
I don't have a degree in engineering, so I don't get it. I am sure a 6th grader
could have it all fixed up in about ten minutes. So, I am gonna
give it a go tomorrow. Please pray for me...ARGH!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Missing Mom

Mother's day.
first one since we lost my dear sweet mother-in-law.
As I got ready for church this morning,
and realized I would once again be going alone.
I got it bad. feeling sorry for myself.
These are the ugly thoughts that go through my head.
And then I feel guilty for thinking them.
I will admit, I didn't stay there
as long as I normally do.
Thank you Lord.
I just sometimes wonder what is wrong with me.
Why must I always take everything so personally.
My sweet husband doesn't
always go to church with me,
but when he does,
I am thrilled.
I like being with him.
I didn't even think how missing his Mom may
have made him feel down and melancholy.
So once again I find myself
fighting with my selfishness.
Thank goodness God is patient.
I think I would have been done
with me a long time ago.
We did take the bikes for a nice cruise up
Chinook pass and stopped to eat.
We had a chance to chat.
He got to tell me that
he missed his Mom and felt
"weird" not knowing what to do today.
He always took his Mom to brunch
and usually his sisters as well.
Just another change in life
we get to grow through.
We have the great gift
we will see her again.

Friday, May 8, 2009

ahhh friday...

What a long week.....haven't been able to blog last few days.
I just haven't had it in me.
Been going in to work between 6:30 & 7 am
and getting off between 5:30 & 6.
Not horrible, but enough that it doesn't leave
much time for anything else.
Especially since I made a commitment
to do better at my homemaking. I can
justify til the cows come home, that I
work full time and Sid is home all day
but, the facts are he isn't going to help.
Anyway, that is besides the point.
God has been faithful to give me the grace
to get through with a cheerful attitude.
I am doing laundry tonight, and getting some beans
soaked to make some chili tomorrow, and just a few
odd chores. Tomorrow I hope to get some groceries
and plan some meals for the upcoming week.
Most of my chaos is due to lack of planning.
This crazy schedule should only be the next
couple weeks, so I just need to remember, this
is all temporary. off to fapa...=]

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Well, it has been a year and a half since Sid had a massive stroke.
Our lives were literally tipped over in a heartbeat.
He was paralyzed on his right side and unable to communicate at all.
He didn't know his own name or recognize his family and friends.
I snuck our dog Samson into the hospital that first night.
Sid loves that dog so much.
Turns out he had a carotid artery completely plugged.
The surgery was risky as the blood flow resuming could cause another stroke.
We had to take that chance, though.
It wouldn't change the damage that had already happened,
it would just unclog the artery.
After the surgery, the surgeon told us that Sid wouldn't get any better
and wouldn't be able to talk again.
I was devastated for like 5 seconds, and then

I was MAD..

I told that Dr. that he was a doctor and that I was a dummy,

I told him that Sid would get better.
I was so afraid to say out loud to anyone(what if the Dr. is right?).
He was in the hospital for 10 days.
He was sent to the rehab unit for an estimated three week stint.
(My boss wired me the money because
the rehab place wouldn't take him without a $10,000.00 deposit.)
Well, God had other plans. Sid regained his physical abilities pretty quickly.
His 3 week $35,000.00 rehab stay turned into 4 days and $3,000.00.
The man who didn't know his own name
or where his nose was can now talk with some difficulty.
If you have the patience to listen to him,
he can carry on a conversation.
It has been a wonderful, horrible, exhilarating,
discouraging, hopeful,adventurous,never boring,
constantly learning more, love filled year.
That thanksgiving right after I was wondering how
I was going to pay for groceries
let alone the hospital bills.(no insurance)
We are too well off to qualify for help,
but still needed some.
If you own more than one car you have too many assets
to qualify for help. And I thought we were doing
good trying to stay out of debt..hmm
Once again God showed off.
Friends got together and anonymously slipped us a card with cash more than once.
The hospital reduced the bill a third and agreed to payments.
The church provided our thanksgiving meal.
Our income was cut in half and our bills more than doubled,
yet everything is paid on time.
Up until Oct 18 2008 Sid was driving and during the summer riding his new Harley.
Then he had a seizure..
He was 4 hours away visiting our son,
and the bottom dropped again..
Came to find out seizures aren't uncommon in
brain trauma victims( I sooo hate the word victim)
so no driving for 6 months and seizure meds.
No more seizures, and back to driving...YAY!!!
he did cheat a little bit.=]

It has been an awesome experience to know what I know.
I used to say I believe this and I believe that,
but now I can say I KNOW.
God will take care of us.
Don't get me wrong,
I haven't been thrilled with our circumstances.
I miss Sid the way he used to be.
I have also grown to love the new Sid that I am blessed to have still.
God's faithfulness has been such a gift to experience.
I said a year ago that Sid was going to be exactly
the way God wanted him to be and that I was going to love him.
I told people that we were going to be able
to look back on this past year and say
"Look what God did!"
That has proved to be true.
We've learned to not let our circumstances determine how we are going to be.
Sid still goes to speech therapy twice a week.
He continues to improve.
I changed jobs in April 2008.
The place I had been 17 yrs sold to another company.
The new job has way better medical insurance, which we are both on, now.
Less out of pocket and better coverage.
My Dad died in June,
We lost our old Dog Punkin on father's day
We lost Sid's mom in October.
It has been a season of many changes.
We miss our loved ones, but know they are with the Lord.
We will see them again.
I'm working on not living in fear, God makes that possible.
I am not able to do anything without Him.
We have been so blessed.
How many times have I taken God's blessings for granted?
Or taken credit myself.
Like I have any power of my own?!
I am such a silly creature.(horrid, too).
Thank God for loving me.
Anyway, I think that's enough out of me for now.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


What a great week-end.
Spent it at annual ladies retreat through my church.
This year's theme was portrait of a Godly woman.
I just love these things.
I so needed the fellowship and the time with the Lord.
The fabulous women that came.
I got the opportunity to get to know
so many of the women I see on a weekly
basis on a deeper level. I wish they knew
what a blessing they were to me.
Each and every one in their own
special way. But oh was I glad to get home
I missed my Sid. When I asked him if he missed
me, he said "what you are dummy?" which in
translation is What are you crazy? I missed you like mad!!
Last year's retreat was the first time I left him home alone
after the stroke. The stroke happened Oct. 25, 2007 btw.
So, I had to reflect on how far God has brought us in this
last year. I had absolutely no fear or worries about
leaving him this year compared to being consumed with them
last year. I arranged to having people check on him and "drop"
by, and this year I didn't do any of that.

I am really looking forward to implementing some of the things I
felt the Lord putting on my heart this week-end. More to be revealed
on that front. dealing mostly with the choices I make, and if they reflect
God's character in them. Areas that were reinforced..thank you Lord!!