lazy day

What a week. I was supposed to work today as well,
but when I asked my boss what time he wanted me
to come in, he said "just take the day off"..I almost started
crying I was so relieved. He appreciated all the extra hours
and effort I have been putting in, and thought I deserved
a whole weekend off. I really like this new boss of mine.
I took 2 naps today. I did get up at my usual 4 am
so it isn't too horrible that I took a morning
and an afternoon nap. Sid handled dinner (taco bell). and here
I am. I did change the bed and do some laundry, but other than that
it was veg out completely. Saw something today that makes me
sick to my stomach. And not sure if I can post about it or not.
I am going to keep praying about it, and maybe I will post on it
later on. I just don't want to do anything that may embarrass
someone else, even if it has a HUGE impact on me and how
I am feeling right now. suffice it to say I am angry, hurt,
confused, and asking the question why why why?
so one more crazy 12 hour a day workweek ahead, and
I will be working next Saturday and Sunday, but after
that I will be on my new schedule 7-4. YAY that will
make my life a whole lot less hectic. I am going to go
finish my oh so lazy day with a movie and some ice cream.

big sigh

I don't know when it happened, or how I missed it.
I am no longer 25 and in great shape. =[
I hurt physically. I don't do hurt well.
I also, don't do whine without guilt well.
I have had it easy this last few years.
Only in my first few weeks of the parts
dept and my feet hurt. My back is aching,
and my neck is all outa whack. boo hoo....
I had gotten used to sitting in a nice comfy
chair all day. sure i did a little work standing
but for the most part sit down easy...
Well, that is no more.. I realize I have not
treated my body very well. Got lazy and
soft. Justified it by telling myself I don't
have time to exercise, all my free time
I spend trying to do stuff that Sid used to
do. How I am doing more around the house
and I deserve to relax, with or without
double scoops...So there you go there you
have it. I am the heaviest I have ever been
in my life and seem to not have the ooomph
to do anything to change it. So I am gonna
have to get real and take a good look in
the mirror and be honest. I hate doing that
I don't usually like what I see. However,
pain is a good motivator. And I am hurting.
Not just emotionally and spiritually, but physically.
Hard to push that down with a cookie. Hope
that posting this will give a bit of accountability
to my resolve to take a look at what I CAN do.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
So any thing else is just an excuse. Which I believe
is just a lie in disguise. big sigh...

clean house

I came home today, and while I was at work, My sister in law had came and cleaned our home. It needed cleaned, too. I am what is called a terrible housekeeper. I know how to do the chores, I just seem to find other things to do, instead. I was better at this stuff when I was a working mom with kids at home. Now a working empty nester with an at home husband, you would think it would be a breeze, right? WRONG....Honestly, it is all I can do to keep up with the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, grocery shopping, and meals. I just don't make it a priority like I used to. We don't seem to be too damaged by my laziness, but at times I am ashamed and embarrassed by it. I have always wanted to be one of those wives that loves to do housework, and is crafty and just knows how to arrange a room. I am not gifted in those areas AT ALL. I then feel guilty and beat myself up because I don't measure up. Who says? why me of course. I also can't seem to get past my pride and ask for help in these areas. I have several friends that are oozing with these gifts and would be more than happy to help me, but I don't want to admit I need help, I keep forgetting that I am the only one judging me so harshly. I am so very thankful that God is not done with me, and He continues to show me His love and grace. So I get to truly relax this weekend with no guilt for the chores not getting done, Thanks to my dear Esther.

beginner blogger

Just found out you couldn't leave a comment on my blog. I think I fixed it. So if you are reading this...do me a favor? just leave a comment so I know it's fixed? Well, so far I have made it without complaining. Sid has been gone since 9:30..Apple Cup( local speedway auto racing) I have just been lounging about. took a nap, did dishes, laundry,FAPA, made banana bread, sent a few e-mails, made a few phone calls, watched a few episodes of bones(thanks to DVR) and here I am. So, apparently, I just needed a little relaxation. God is sooo good. ALL the time. I plan on finishing my day with a little dinner and maybe a movie. Dinner will probably consist of cereal. That has to be one of the best things of not having kids at home. I don't have to set an example with my eating habits. That may have something to do with my ever widening backside...lol...I like to say I'm not fat just fluffy. Anyway, I am off to finish my relaxing day...bye

week-ends

Well here it is sunday night and I have managed to accomplish very little in my two days off from work. That isn't entirely true. I have accomplished lots of stuff, just not the things I should have. For example, I am not one of those clean organized people that do stuff as they go along. I make big messes and may or may not clean them up right away. I know....bad, huh? I am not proud of this fact about me, but it is a fact about me. Anyway, I usually have good intentions on doing some great project like clean out a room or a closet or the refrigerator..totally doable and I get sidetracked with life. Yep, life. We are going on vacation for the first time in 3 years. I realize some families don't ever go on vacations, so that may seem like no big deal. I guess what I mean is I am getting my first vacation from work, daily stuff, town, etc in 3 years. And I am sooo looking forward to it. The last couple years have been filled with many life changes..BIG ones. That again is another story(probly more than one story). Anyway, when you go on a trip there are plans to make and things to do to be ready. So, that is what I accomplished this week-end. Laundry, haircut, eyebrow wax, shopping, manicure, pedicure. Also took the dogs to the groomer. Did I mention my sweet husband got a pedicure, too? Yep, how many wives get to spend a Saturday at the nail salon with their husbands soaking their feet? Very nice...I also got to see a woman who is so very dear to me Saturday evening. And, yes, that is a whole nuther story, too....=]...Today I went to church and then I did it...that's right I took a nap...So, tomorrow when I am feeling guilty for being lazy and selfish and irresponsible I hope I remember to smile and Say...'what a nice week-end'...