Just another Monday

BLAH.. back on night shift for a month.
not feeling it.
So grateful for a job, yet find myself complaining(mostly inside my own head).
Why can't I just be glad I get to go to work? I admit to not really liking
what I'm doing, but I don't have to like it. I have to focus on the positives,
which there are some. Insurance is a BIG one. And, I only work 14 days(nights)
a month, every other week-end is a 3-dayer. Why do I always have to be like
the Israelites being led out of Egypt. ALWAYS complaining. I profess to trust God,
yet continue to find myself questioning the details. I waste way too much time trying
to figure it all out, instead of just enjoying it all. The facts are, that I am just having a
blah day, and this too shall pass. I will probably bounce out of this funk before the morning
sun rises.(I sure hope) I am just more comfortable being perky & happy & laughing & being
the one that's encouraging someone else to focus on the positive. Last week I had a bad day
at work & I thought of how I used to call Sid on the phone when I had a bad day. How he would
make it all OK. I remembered the times he would just show up and have a coffee or flowers or
a big hug to remind me someone thought I was "THE BEST"
Which reminded me that some people NEVER get to experience that. How very blessed I am.
When I remember Why working is so important, it makes it so much easier to do and be happy
while doing it. I have been told repeatedly by coworkers that they appreciate my attitude and
how I am happy and cheerful all the time. I just want to be real. I have learned that outside circumstances don't have to determine how I behave. I still wish it were easier, though.

"big girl panties?"

OK, I lost a couple pounds since summer..no big deal really. It was pounds that I needed to lose. So, here's my dilemma.. I went to work yesterday, and after being there about 10 minutes I realize my panties are slipping off. Yep, waaaaaayyy too big. That in itself isn't so bad. I decided to share it with a co-worker. Told her my underwear kept slipping down. Well, it never occurred to me that she would find it so funny as to share it with others. You guessed it..within 20 minutes EVERYONE knew my underwear was falling down. I started getting pieces of tape put on my station. I have to tell you, my first reaction was horror, and then I saw the humor. I also became grateful that this crew I work with felt comfortable enough with me to give me a hard time. So I attached a piece of tape to the top of my underbritches and the bottom of my shirt and formed a type of suspender. They all nearly peed their pants laughing at me. I have no idea how it looked, but it felt good to have some camaraderie. I had spent last couple years at a job feeling like a misfit. Oh, yeah..the panties went in the trash when I got home. And, 12 hours is a really long time to work in droopy drawers..LOL

here again

Well, I am embarrassed to even come back after such hit and miss blogging.
Much has been happening, at work at home, with Sid's health.
I will just give a quick rundown of last couple weeks if possible.
Sid is anemic and needed to have iron infusions. at the first one
he fainted --- twice. His feet swelled up to size of small watermelons
with frankfurter toes, and his heart rate and blood pressure went
crazy. this all earned him an ambulance ride to the hospital for
a overnight lodging. it was all very scary. He was looked at by a
neurologist that determined he just fainted. No seizure, no stroke
no damage..Praise God. He is now off the blood pressure meds he
has been taking for almost 2 years. I guess anemia will lower blood
pressure, too. So I missed 2 days of work to be with him. When I
went back to work, my boss says to me. "Oh, we really appreciate you
and how hard you work. We are paying you for the time you were off."
I just started crying and said thank you. I am so grateful for the
blessings that come. I figured I would use a sick day and just scrimp
on the other day, but once again God showed off in our life. So we go again
for another iron infusion this Wednesday. Hopefully it will be
drama free. Hoping I can be more consistent with this blog.
Time will tell, I guess.

slackin

Well I have been back from my "camping" trip for over a week and still no pics or details.
Well here's the deal. I worked over 73 hours last week. add into that minimal chores around
the house, and Sid's sister passing away, I have good reason for my lack of follow thru.
After working all those hours, come to find out the computer system didn't recognize
the bulk of changes, so we will have to do it all over. So for the next few weeks, I will
be working 10-12 hour days. Which I realize other people do all the time and manage
a home and children and everything else. I will too, just not as well as I would like.
I really wanted to be faithful to this blog. I will have to find out how that is going to happen.
so tata for now.

big sigh

I don't know when it happened, or how I missed it.
I am no longer 25 and in great shape. =[
I hurt physically. I don't do hurt well.
I also, don't do whine without guilt well.
I have had it easy this last few years.
Only in my first few weeks of the parts
dept and my feet hurt. My back is aching,
and my neck is all outa whack. boo hoo....
I had gotten used to sitting in a nice comfy
chair all day. sure i did a little work standing
but for the most part sit down easy...
Well, that is no more.. I realize I have not
treated my body very well. Got lazy and
soft. Justified it by telling myself I don't
have time to exercise, all my free time
I spend trying to do stuff that Sid used to
do. How I am doing more around the house
and I deserve to relax, with or without
double scoops...So there you go there you
have it. I am the heaviest I have ever been
in my life and seem to not have the ooomph
to do anything to change it. So I am gonna
have to get real and take a good look in
the mirror and be honest. I hate doing that
I don't usually like what I see. However,
pain is a good motivator. And I am hurting.
Not just emotionally and spiritually, but physically.
Hard to push that down with a cookie. Hope
that posting this will give a bit of accountability
to my resolve to take a look at what I CAN do.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
So any thing else is just an excuse. Which I believe
is just a lie in disguise. big sigh...

whoo

What a week and a half...
Got a new boss at work.
He is fantastic! But, I
have to work in a different
department now. It is all
good, and I keep telling myself
to be grateful and that
god will equip me with everything
I need to do this. I would have made
the same decision if I had to make it.
So I now work in the parts dept. I am
the brake and clutch specialist...
woo hoo...I spent 17 years doing that
and was thrilled when I came to this company
and basically hung up the gloves
and utilized my administrative skills.
Well, they decided I had too many skills
in the area of parts sale to be working
as an office administrator, so hence the
move to parts and sales. I know it is just
the old friend fear coming to visit.
I have never done this type of work
in a dealership. What if I can't get it?
What if I mess up too much? All those
negative self=centered fears that
seem to come around way too frequently.
Grateful that I am no longer paralyzed
in my fear. I have learned to do things
afraid. To pray and give it to God, knowing
that He will bless me if I am honestly seeking
Him and believing that it is what He would have
me do. Takes alot of pressure off me. My hours
are different, too. So just alot of adjustment.
Just when things get "normal" it changes.
Thankful for the precious gifts from God.

new schedule

I have been going in to work at 9 instead of 6:30, and working later.
Needless to say, I am all out of whack. I am used to getting home
and having time to do a few chores, cook dinner, play on the computer while
Sid watches wheel of fortune, then maybe watch a little TV myself and off to bed.
Well, I've been getting up at 4 am(thanks Miss KanDee) and not really using that
time as well as I could. I read my bible in the am usually, and may do a load of
laundry or some FB. I really am a morning person. This new schedule is just temporary
until they hire someone, so I imagine when I get "used" to it, I will go back
to the old one. I am just grateful to be working. God is so good. All the time.

changed my mind

Well, I was gonna change the text colors,
but since I am a pro at changing my blog
background now, I just changed it instead.
And, I think the colors are just fine.
Thanks for the encouragement, Jodi.

I had a pretty rough day at work.
Maybe because I am tired and not
good at accepting criticism. Especially
when I don't believe it is valid. But I
just kept telling myself work as to the
Lord. I reminded myself I am an ambassador
and how I respond to situations is critical.
I did most of this in front of the bathroom
mirror trying to figure out how I was gonna
hide that I had obviously been crying.
Seriously, I have NEVER and I mean
NEVER been reprimanded in any way
at a job, so any type of criticism feels
like a personal assault. I had to really
search and ask God to show me if there
was any truth to it. You know what I got,
There wasn't any truth to the accusations
he faced. He was crucified for my whiny
self. That brought me back to reality.
Some things don't really matter. In a year,
today will be long forgotten. Hopefully,
I'll carry the lesson of the need for
some humility in my attitude.

work woes

Why is it when you take a vacation from work you work twice as hard the week before you leave and twice as hard the week you return?I swear it is unbelievable. I decided it isn't really a vacation at all, just a redistribution of time in the work load. My boss just chuckled at me. I scheduled this trip in September. Yep, you would think with nearly 8 months notice we would have put a plan in place for someone to be trained somewhat to do my duties, right? Didn't happen. So, I came back to a royal nightmare. Everyone glad to have me back. Even though noone really knows what I do all day at work, they realized there was an awful lot of stuff not getting done, so now they believe me when I say I do more than answer the phone. I mean they didn't even open the mail. COME ON...ANYONE CAN DO THAT. My dog can do that...lol. I am pleased to say that except for about an hour of filing, I am all caught up with the work that was waiting for me. What a relief. I am so very grateful for my job. especially in these tough times. I get paid well, have decent insurance coverage, and work decent hours. All good. That's enough outa me for now.

home sweet home

home from cali..What a trip! We got to see Zen for the first time in 4 years. it was soo wonderful. I had really come to accept that we would never see her again. God is good. I should have posted yesterday, but I was just too tired from driving. Charyl did a couple hours, and I did the rest. It is a very long way from Disneyland to home. The new granddaughters are delightful an so much fun. It makes me miss my Gramma. She had to be the coolest grown-up in my childhood. I so want to be like her. I think I am a little. got irritated at work. I knew it would be alot of catching up, I didn't realize that noone was going to do any of my work while I was gone.YIKES...I even cried a little bit, then I find myself feeling guilty for not being grateful. grateful for the job, the trip that didn't seem possible a little over a year ago, grateful for my family, for seeing Zen, for Jimmy, that takes such good care of our puppies and home while we are gone. Thank you Lord for the continuous blessing you give us. I will share more later on the trip. If I had been able to post while I was on vaca, it would have been kind of cool, but I will just have to try to wing it with the highlights..more to come