Day 27:Photo of me & a family member

Veronica, Marty, Sid, & I at our family reunion last summer.

Goodbye

My sister in law's funeral was today.
It was a nice service and all. Her husband
will miss her so. They would have
celebrated 34 years of marriage tomorrow.
I sat there and reflected on so much.
I, being the self-centered wretch that
I am, thought of how I would be feeling
if I was the one left behind. I have always
told Sid that I hoped to go before him.
I knew he would be alright without me,
but I would never be OK without him.
I then thought of how I have been learning
to be OK without the him I knew since his
stroke. I in a sense lost my husband that day
even though he is here still. I just have a totally
different guy than I started with. Don't , please,
don't think I am complaining about my circumstances.
I am truly just telling it like it is. and no I don't much
care for it most days. But, it is the path the Lord has
put before me. When I think of how "hard" I have it,
I think of countless others in this world who have it
so much tougher than I do. I have a friend who tells
me that maybe I am being prepared for something
through this. I am sure God has a plan and I just hope
that I cooperate and trust Him in it.

is it bedtime yet?

Can't remember the last time I felt this tired.
I am all over tired. Mind body and spirit. I
caught myself ready to cry today over nothing.
I mean absolutely nothing. I cannot stand myself
some days. yet I wonder why others find me
annoying...lol I know pretty funny, huh?
My sister in law's funeral is tomorrow, so
we have family coming to town for that.
Seems just so wrong that we never seem to
see some of our loved ones (we really do
love them) unless it is a funeral. I will miss
my dear sister in law.

We have shared so much of our lives together.
It seems fitting that she passed on Mom's birthday,
who would have turned 80 this year. So much to
reflect on. And be grateful for the happy times.

needin another day...

What a great week-end.
Spent it with our son and his wife
and the 2 youngest granddaughters.
The boys went to the bike shop,
while us girls got our nails done and
did a little shopping. I Love my daughter-in-law!
She is such a great woman. I feel my son is
blessed to have her for his wife. We had a fantastic time
and are exhausted of course. They gave me my belated
Mother's day gift - Standup photo album full of
disney pictures, and a beautiful
framed photo of us at pixie hollow.
funny, it is the same photo I used to post on
this blog when we returned from D-land.
The frame says "Grandparents hold our hands
for a little while, but our hearts forever"
Boy is that the truth. I carry my Gramma
in my heart always. She was my favorite
grown-up when I was a kid. I have always
hoped I would be as good a
Gramma as her. I don't think I
can be, but I am sure gonna try. =]

headin out

We're heading to Spokane for the week=end. Get to see our son and Daughter-in-law and the granddaughters. Should be fun. Haven't seen them since we got back from Disneyland. Hopefully it will be good weather. Supposed to be. They have the Lilac Festival going on so it should be fun. I love Lilacs. If they lasted more than a couple weeks they would probably be my favorite flower. They actually are one of my favorite smells. I know it's spring when the fragrance of lilacs is full in the air.AHHH. So I am gonna leave work early (only 9 hours today) so we can get there this evening. Yippee...

feelin the pressure

OK. I admit it. I want to have something to say here.

I want to touch people's lives. I want to make you laugh, cry, think about a friend you haven't thought about in a while. remember a childhood memory.

I guess I just want to feel like I matter somehow.

I am crying now, because I realize just how shallow and sick that sounds.

But it is how I feel.

right now.

right this minute.

I am so very aware how small and insignificant I am. I am also aware of how important I am.

Just NOW...AND I MEAN JUST NOW

it was like God reminded me that if I am sooo unimportant and soo insignificant,

why did He send His Son to die on the cross for my sin?

HMM God is so good all of the time.

I am hoping you believe me. I just type the words, and sometimes I post what I write, and sometimes I erase it.

So here I am again, Totally knocked over by God's timing and gentle chastening.

He loves me, and he loves you too.

So, thanks for letting me be me.

granddaughters are wonderful

Here is one of the photos I spent so much time uploading and whatnot yesterday to get real photographs made. I just wanted to show one of us at disneyland. (no, tinkerbell is not my granddaughter)..I notice the resemblance..hahaha..anyway Savannah,Zen, Josie, Tink,Tori(katie's friend), Katie,Charyl, and Me. We had such a great time. I am hoping they will help me with my scrapbook. I am not good at any type of craft project, but I am gonna try anyway. They are all such a gift and blessing in our life. Today was a good day, almost done with laundry. Sid is in bed already, and I am just being thankful for these precious gifts that we call granddaughters. Hopefully I can measure up to the example my Gramma gave me.