BLAH.. back on night shift for a month.
not feeling it.
So grateful for a job, yet find myself complaining(mostly inside my own head).
Why can't I just be glad I get to go to work? I admit to not really liking
what I'm doing, but I don't have to like it. I have to focus on the positives,
which there are some. Insurance is a BIG one. And, I only work 14 days(nights)
a month, every other week-end is a 3-dayer. Why do I always have to be like
the Israelites being led out of Egypt. ALWAYS complaining. I profess to trust God,
yet continue to find myself questioning the details. I waste way too much time trying
to figure it all out, instead of just enjoying it all. The facts are, that I am just having a
blah day, and this too shall pass. I will probably bounce out of this funk before the morning
sun rises.(I sure hope) I am just more comfortable being perky & happy & laughing & being
the one that's encouraging someone else to focus on the positive. Last week I had a bad day
at work & I thought of how I used to call Sid on the phone when I had a bad day. How he would
make it all OK. I remembered the times he would just show up and have a coffee or flowers or
a big hug to remind me someone thought I was "THE BEST"
Which reminded me that some people NEVER get to experience that. How very blessed I am.
When I remember Why working is so important, it makes it so much easier to do and be happy
while doing it. I have been told repeatedly by coworkers that they appreciate my attitude and
how I am happy and cheerful all the time. I just want to be real. I have learned that outside circumstances don't have to determine how I behave. I still wish it were easier, though.