Thursday, April 30, 2009
I found out last night it was canceled.
I had about half of my homework done.
Talked to my good friend and she told me to finish it anyway.
I seriously considered just letting it slide.
Well, I went ahead and finished the homework.
yep, That thing I've been agonizing over ?
and praying about?
and really believing I was trusting and seeking?
I found thru finishing this week's study homework, that I was NOT.
I had once again made decisions based on self-seeking motives.
That wouldn't be so bad, but I did this while asking God for direction and
I hadn't received any direction,
and decided to go a certain way anyway.
So, this morning when I was finishing up the homework I got the blessing of
HEARING from the Lord.
All this as a result of acting out of
obedience to finish the homework. So I now KNOW
what I am supposed to do
I am to enjoy and be grateful for
the wonderful life I have been blessed with .
"Keep back your servant from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great transgression" (Psalm 19:12)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
My husband just left the house to go to men's bible study at church.
I know that may not seem like a major big deal, but it really is.
HUGE, really......HUGE .
Even before the stroke, he wouldn't have been going.
Just not his deal.
He doesn't hang out with other guys.
He barely hangs out with me. =]
So, here I sit once again with another bit of evidence for the file
of how God ALWAYS...and I mean ALWAYS IS FAITHFUL.
Don't ask me why this is so important to me.
I know how much I have been blessed through participating in the Ladies bible study,
so I guess I just wished the same sort of thing for him.
I get to go to work and interact with other people every day.
He sits at home and watches TV most days. I don't know how he doesn't
lose his mind, but he seems to be content.
I have to remember I am the crazy one. The one prone to ungrateful,
discontentedness with things that are totally out of my control.
I am just blown away by God's grace, even though I shouldn't be surprised.
Our lives have been so abundantly covered in grace, I don't know how I can
ever be the way I get soo often. impatient and uncertain. Full of questions and
doubts...the what if game is always on..
Just today I was praying and told God I just wanted to "FEEL"
that I was moving in the right direction...
To "KNOW" what He wanted me to do
.and it came to me
JUST TRUST AND OBEY...
So I am once again in that very familiar place
of asking forgiveness and being thankful that I am so loved..
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Goin to bed early...yeah I know only 80 year olds and older or 3 year olds and younger go to bed before 8 o'clock, but I don't care. I am tired.
My sweet dear KanDee has decided she wants to get up at 3 am the last few mornings.
Not really a big deal I am up at 4 normally anyway. Well, it is a big deal. I spent the extra time catching up on some reading and chores, nothing special. Well, after three days of it, I am beat.
So sweet dreams.."see" ya Tomorrow...
Monday, April 27, 2009
OK. I admit it. I want to have something to say here.
I want to touch people's lives. I want to make you laugh, cry, think about a friend you haven't thought about in a while. remember a childhood memory.
I guess I just want to feel like I matter somehow.
I am crying now, because I realize just how shallow and sick that sounds.
But it is how I feel.
right this minute.
I am so very aware how small and insignificant I am. I am also aware of how important I am.
Just NOW...AND I MEAN JUST NOW
it was like God reminded me that if I am sooo unimportant and soo insignificant,
why did He send His Son to die on the cross for my sin?
HMM God is so good all of the time.
I am hoping you believe me. I just type the words, and sometimes I post what I write, and sometimes I erase it.
So here I am again, Totally knocked over by God's timing and gentle chastening.
He loves me, and he loves you too.So, thanks for letting me be me.