Tuesday, August 2, 2011
OK. I haven't been here in a while. Quite a while. I have wanted to be, but for whatever reason my old "friend?" FEAR has been keeping me from it. I have been keeping secrets, and as a result been paralyzed by it. I don't even know why I would call them secrets. I will freely and gladly tell anyone almost anything about me and my life. Ask me a question, and I will almost always tell you the whole ugly truth, whether you really want to know or not. I know alot of my absence has been because I have had such a hard time really "feeling" the gratitude in so much of my daily life. I have been doing the actions in spite of the "feelings" being ugly and bitter and ANGRY. And I just want to SCREAM about it all. But, what purpose would that serve? NONE, so I stay silent. I think I am tired of being silent. So here's the deal...I am going to just BE..whatever that may be. I want to know that fear isn't going to win. I AM NOT A VICTIM!!