boring??

Ok here I am, what to write about?? hmmm....uhhh...welll....yeah that's right I got nuthin. I am sitting here and glancing over at the man in my life...watching him relax. He is usually so tired by this time of night. the one thing that keeps him awake is waiting for wheel of fortune. One of the little after effects of the stroke. I asked him if he's getting excited for our trip, and he says "no". I told him he better get excited and real quick..He is wondering if he will still like the rides and be able to rid them. So much about him is different since the stroke. It is interesting how the brain works. so many things we take for granted. just the ability to carry on a conversation. so easy, right? My husband was the talker in our life. I can hold my own, don't get me wrong.. it's just that he always had something to say. so I guess the silence is sometimes just too much and I feel the need to make up somehow. I don't know. I just know most days are good. not fantastic or horrible, just plain old ordinary good. Which is wonderful in itself. Some days, like today, I just ache for the "old" before stroke Sid. And then I remember that this is the Sid that God has blessed me with, and what a lucky girl I am. I have been given the gift of someone who genuinely loves me and even if he can't always express that the way we would like, we are grateful for the gift of each other and a loving God in our life. Probably won't be hearing from me for a while, Disneyland will be taking up my time....WOOHOO

3 days til take-off

Wow!! it seems all I can think about is this vacation. I am just so excited.... Not only do we get to spend a full week with our four new granddaughters at Disneyland, We get to see Zen... who we haven't seen in over 4 years... Hopefully she will get to go to Disneyland with us for a couple days..we'll see. Just a year and a half ago it didn't seem like anything good would ever happen again, and here we are with so much good that has happened and more to look forward to. Seems like our life is defined by "before the stroke" and "After the stroke". I wonder if it will ever just BE again? I guess it doesn't really matter, the fact is that our life was dramatically changed in a heartbeat...We have so much to be grateful for...and are!! God is so good..He is faithful and has blessed us so abundantly. The great lessons we have learned as a result of hard times...priceless.

week-ends

Well here it is sunday night and I have managed to accomplish very little in my two days off from work. That isn't entirely true. I have accomplished lots of stuff, just not the things I should have. For example, I am not one of those clean organized people that do stuff as they go along. I make big messes and may or may not clean them up right away. I know....bad, huh? I am not proud of this fact about me, but it is a fact about me. Anyway, I usually have good intentions on doing some great project like clean out a room or a closet or the refrigerator..totally doable and I get sidetracked with life. Yep, life. We are going on vacation for the first time in 3 years. I realize some families don't ever go on vacations, so that may seem like no big deal. I guess what I mean is I am getting my first vacation from work, daily stuff, town, etc in 3 years. And I am sooo looking forward to it. The last couple years have been filled with many life changes..BIG ones. That again is another story(probly more than one story). Anyway, when you go on a trip there are plans to make and things to do to be ready. So, that is what I accomplished this week-end. Laundry, haircut, eyebrow wax, shopping, manicure, pedicure. Also took the dogs to the groomer. Did I mention my sweet husband got a pedicure, too? Yep, how many wives get to spend a Saturday at the nail salon with their husbands soaking their feet? Very nice...I also got to see a woman who is so very dear to me Saturday evening. And, yes, that is a whole nuther story, too....=]...Today I went to church and then I did it...that's right I took a nap...So, tomorrow when I am feeling guilty for being lazy and selfish and irresponsible I hope I remember to smile and Say...'what a nice week-end'...

Friday and it's early

Ok I am normally up and at em at 4 am every day. But Fridays are tough. I go to bible study on Thursday nights and get in late. Friday is also garbage day. I know you saw my lovely husband in the picture. He is an awesome guy. even before he had a stroke (that is a whole nuther story) he didn't take the trash to the curb. Our son did it until he moved out, and for some strange reason, I picked up that chore. Most days doesn't bother me, but some days I'm like, Dude.. you are home all day. Could you possibly take 5 from the speed channel and give me a hand. =]...bottom line is if I gave him a chance to do it when he wanted to instead of when I think it needed done, he probably would have been doing it all these years..maybe not, too. As I write this I see how easily I slip into pettiness and I hate that about me. Is it really that big a deal?? Come On..it took all of five minutes to gather all the trash in the house and take it out to the big can, (no, I don't save it all up for Friday..lol...yes, I do it during the week as well)..and then drag the big cans down the end of the drive...you know what? He does drag the emptied cans back up to the house..Now that is pretty cool, huh?

missing Punkin

Ok ...I started a blog to share my random ramblings...all I can come up with today is how much I love my furry little critters. They are just so stinkin cute. When I get home from work you would have thought I had been on a 3 month safari in a foreign land. Jumping all over me and wiggling and waggling. They are the best. Makes me think of our dear Punkin. We had her for 14 years and what a great gift she was. I still miss her so much. We got her when she was 3 weeks old...her mama had been run over and the puppies were needing some extra care..I picked up this little ball of fluff and she wrapped her legs around my arm and wouldn't let go..well, I brought her home, and she became a wonderful constant in our life. She grew to be a large (80lb) part of us.I never worried about locking a door with her around..Chow/Lab mix.. fiercely loyal and oh so loving to her family. If she was with me I didn't get scared at night when My husband wasn't home. I knew she would protect me. And those loving eyes. As she got older those eyes failed her, but we kept the house the same and she was fine. up until she was 12 my husband took her for a ride in the care EVERY night, no matter what. some times just a short one, sometimes to get ice cream at dairy queen, sometimes to go see gramma. We were blessed with this precious gift from God. I miss my Punkin.

Well, I did it. I have been reading some other people's blogs and thinking.... "I would like to try that." I tell myself that I have no business doing it because I have no talent for communicating or creative writing. Noone cares what I have to say. All kinds of other excuses that come down to one thing....SELF-CENTERED FEAR.... It has robbed me of so much in my life, and knowing that you would think I would know it's familiar lies that I am so quick to believe.(some of them are true). Who cares if I am not a talented writer.. I of all people know there is a wrench for every nut, and God can use all types of containers to hold his beautiful flowers......So as with other things I have tried, time will tell. Practice makes better. So if you are looking at this, be patient. I am saving the really good stuff for next time..=]