almost vacation

What a great day! went to work only to get off at noon, and got home just in time to sign for the ups package containing our vacation package..SOO SOOO EXCITED.
Sid is funny. I ask him are you excited? and he says "it'll be OK." I asked him
if I was tan enough and his answer was "I don't care!" you can see why I love him so. After all these years he still makes me laugh. So the list making has become serious. So gotta go and work on some of that list stuff...=]

results

Went to see doctor today to get results of test Sid had last week. He doesn't think Sid is a good candidate for the stint procedure,because he is in fair health, his heart is in good shape, and he doesn't seem to be high risk for surgical procedure. So, this Dr. will meet with the surgeon in 2 weeks to go over Sid's tests and what-not and the surgeon will make the final call. If he thinks Sid is too high risk for it then the stint doc will do that, otherwise it looks as if he will be having a surgery after the first of the year.I reminded Dr. that we were leaving for Disneyland in 3 weeks, and wanted to be sure it was not in any way detrimental to Sid.I told him we don't let fear rule our decisions, but I also wanted to be smart as well. He told us "GO! Have fun! get him on any and all rides. upside down whatever." He told us the odds were very low of Sid having anything happening before they get him fixed up. So that was good news. I had really hoped that they would get him fixed up before the trip, but God knows best. So glad we trust Him. I am looking forward to spending that time with just him and being able to enjoy each other without the daily distractions that seem to take up so much of my time and attention. just feeling tired and content all at the same time..

Thanks Listing...

I couldn't name just one, so I said I would do a list of people I am thankful for and why. So, here goes. And there is no doubt I will leave someone out, because face it, I am a bit older, and a bit scattered in my brain these days.not in any particular order, either. just kind of as it came to me.
1. my mom for choosing to keep the constant reminder of a bad choice.
2.my dad for teaching me how to work hard and tell the truth no matter the cost.
3. my gramma for being the funnest grown up in my whole childhood.
4. my sister for showing me what being selfless is.
5. my brother for being stable.
6.Andrea(my other sister)for all the fun times, all the horrible times, sticking through no matter what.
7.my teachers for giving me the love of reading, and the desire to do well.
8.Sidney for being the best gift of all. I KNOW what it is to be loved by a man who loved me with his whole self.
9.Cindy for always being there no matter what. good, bad, & ugly.
10. Liz for telling me the truth. for sharing you with me.
11. Pam for showing me how to accept the love of a good man.
12.Jami for allowing me to be a sounding board, giving me the opportunity to get out of myself for 5 seconds.
13.Harold & Cyndi for sending the money for Sid's rehab that you knew we would take forever to repay, and never making us feel as if we owed you.
14.Kelly for showing me how to laugh at myself, and to remember this is all temporary.
15.Veronica for being constant and just a super great daughter. you are a great mom also. so loving and giving of yourself and just a bright spot for me.
16. Marty for being a loving son. for so much comfort and strength you brought right after your Dad's stroke.
17.Shannon for always being there. for dropping anything and everything to be a help to us. for being such a true friend.
18.the anonymous donors of the many cards full of cash that helped out so much after the stroke.
19.Tina for always being so thoughtful and engaging. asking questions and encouraging.
20 Norma for faithfully praying for us, and the gentle kindness.
21.Susie for being who she is. She is just so cool and fun and I love her.She tells me the truth in love and points me back to Jesus.
22.Betty for being an example of a loving wife to a "new" husband.
23. Ben for coming to see Sid every day he was in the hospital.
24. Jimmy for always always being there. for doing the "man" chores
for taking such good care of our critters whenever we go somewhere.
25. Esther for feeding us so well.
26.Cynda for the constant consistent godly counsel. always uplifting, never belittling. encouraging and loving.
27.Denise for allowing me to get to know you. What a gift you were to me.glad you are with Jesus now.
28.Sarah for coming all the way from Sunnyside to take Sid to appointments and to be happy in it. Giving us an opportunity to get to know you more and be a part of our life. for loving Sid. he thinks pretty highly of you and your girls, too.
29.Dale and Lola for their genuine love and care of us. What sweet folks.
30.Sharon for being such a fun friend, and for teaching me that things are not always as they seem. that people who love you will still lie to you.miss you so.
31.Sheila for taking the time to talk to me that awful afternoon oh so many years ago, when I had made some bad choices and was in a corner. Good Godly counsel with love and truth, not judging or condemning.
32.Phyllis for being such a good woman to my dad. He so loved you.
33. Corky and Jan for being constant and loving. for being faithful in praying for us. giving us some fun times and good meals.
34.Christine for helping Sid with his speech and constantly pushing him to do better, for making it fun. and you never cashed the checks I sent for payment.knowing we didn't really have the money, but Sid so needed your help.
35.Duane at Owens, for helping me out when the tow company wouldn't let me have Sid's bike after he wrecked it. guess being the wife isn't always good enough. Duane went and got his bike..he isn't even related.haha
36.Robyn for being another constant in my life. We know how to camp..
37.Bryan for being a great boss. for leading by example and encouraging me to go for it. for believing in me.
38.Jon for being a great boss as well. for supplying good health benefits to your employees, and absorbing that cost. For showing you care for the people that work for you.
39.Jay for being a good husband to our daughter. for being a great dad. for always being kind and loving and respectful.
40. Paige for being a great wife to our son. It has been really tough for you, yet you haven't given up yet. You are a gem in our lives.
41. Bernadette for teaching me that so much is my choice.
42.Jack and Charlotte for showing me that sweet love they have.
43.Sid's mom (my other mom) for showing constant and genuine love. for making me laugh, and for just being fun to be around. for never making me feel as if I wasn't good enough for her son.
44.Jeanne for love and support through all the years.
45.Tony for teaching the truth with such passion. truly spirit filled.
46.They aren't people, but in my life critters are pretty high on the list
Punkin for over 14 years of loyal companionship. best dog ever..truly a gift from God.
47. Samson, Sid didn't know me or his kids right after the stroke, but I snuck lil Sammy in to his hospital room and he came back a bit. Sammy became his dog then.
48.Ebony who we got to keep sammy company, and because Sid had stolen my dog..
such love and devotion.
49. KanDee, my broken heart mender. she helped me thru the loss of Punkin and my dad.
50. Sassy, the cat who moved in uninvited as a ratty little kitten and is now KanDee's BFF.
I have had many more folks touch my life in oh so many ways, and the ones listed have so much more qualities that I am thankful for, but it gave me the chance to take a look at some good stuff.

what can I say

Friday already

Where did the week go? It just flew by.
I didn't even realize I hadn't been here
for a few days til tonight. I haven't
been doing anything super special, just
my life which is....SUPER SPECIAL. =]
Trying to figure out what has kept me too
busy to blog, and then remembered LIFE.
I have been tired, and trying to be a
bit more organized during the week, so that
when the weekends come I don't spend the entire
time doing just chores and not enjoying my
man and our home. I am grateful for so much.
We have been super busy at work, so the layoff
scare has left for now. =]
It also keeps me from spending too much time
in the "WHAT IF?" game I can get into playing.
I am somewhat puzzled by the lack of freaking
out or worrying about Sid's test. He had it done
on Wednesday, I have to admit to a small crying
fit. I had a moment of feeling as if I were the
worst wife ever. Like I should have been there
with him. I HATE that. It didn't last long, but
I could have entertained that one for days.
I am looking forward to meeting with the doctor
on Wednesday to find out the results, and get
our plan of action. I just know we are in God's
hands, and no amount of worry or stressing or
any of the stuff I can be soo good at will
change the fact that it will be what it will.
I have been wearing my "EARS" around the house
a bit to be silly, and make Sid laugh. He just
shakes his head and giggles and calls me a
dumb---....He is just so stinkin sweet, huh?
He did manage a walk to costco this week, so
I am encouraged with his effort. so that's
it for me for now. gonna go do some laundry.

scattered

That is my thoughts.
Scattered.
As in all over the place.
My emotions are as well.
I am so ready for our trip.
I am just so tired. I am so
afraid to say it, because I
don't want to sound as if I am
complaining or discontent. I
truly am just tired.
I spent my days off busy.
Doing some chores, Laundry,etc.
Sid and I both did the grocery
shopping together. That was actually
kind of fun. We checked out the new
Walmart.very nice. I will go back.
Trying to stay organized and keep
up with everything that needs done.
called doctors to arrange prescriptions.
called other docs to pay some of them. =]
We are so busy at work, that it is
crazy. Our son showed up today. He
has been a bit off lately, so I am
not sure what to think on that. I
just keep praying for he and his wife
to work thru their problems. Love them
both oh so much. I would normally try to
sort out these thoughts, but I just didn't
have it in me.
I am also thinking of the upcoming doctor
appointments we have, to tackle Sid's blocked
carotid. I keep looking at the countdown
on our calendar...32 days til we leave for our
trip to Disneyland. I am so thankful that I am
not afraid we won't make it. I did tell the man
that I was going whether he made it or not.
Told him I would raffle his spot if he wasn't up
for it. He just showed me his finger. hmmm. he
is so cute.
What is scary is I have all of these thoughts
racing around in my head, as well as many others
I haven't listed(lazy) and I can still kinda function.
I am definitely ready for a change of scenery and a
chance to relax and throw up my hands and just enjoy.
without a thought in my head..only 32 days!!!

progress

The doctor's office called today. They received insurance approval
for the test Sid needs done. YAY!!! He goes next week for that,
and the following week we meet with the doctor to go over the
results and determine the plan of action.
In the meantime, I call Sid to tell him, and he is on his way
to Costco again.(this walking thing may prove costly,lol)
He got paper plates while he was there.(he noticed we were out)
He also picked up one of those meatloaf and mashed tater meals
and a big ole jug of chocolates of the world.mmmm..
I came home to a house that smelled like a home cooked meal
and to nice candies, and a smiling man that felt good about
making me smile. Makes my heart sing.(yes, I am tearing up here)
I am almost afraid to hope that maybe a corner is being turned here.
I know that lots of people that love us are praying extra hard
lately. They have just overwhelmed us with an outpouring of love
and encouragement. I am just so grateful to know that these are
blessings and gifts from our Lord. He is so good to us. I just look
at how the events have happened and there is no doubt He is IN CHARGE!
And we get the great opportunity to share that with everyone we come
in contact with. I hope I prove faithful.

he walked to store..

I am always so amazed by God's blessings.
I then wonder why am I so amazed? I should
be used to it, huh?
I have been encouraging my sweet man to do
a bit of exercise. We plan on getting a scooter
chair for him while we are in Disneyland, but
even with that he will have a bit of walking.
And after sitting and laying around for a few
months it is natural that he will tire easily.
Well, he walked to Costco today. It isn't a super
long walk, maybe half mile round trip. We needed
milk, so he took my encouragement and did it!!
I am so proud of him!! I just praised him and told
him how great he was to go to the store for me.
He said he got tired, but not too bad.
I am just grateful that he tried. He hasn't
"felt" like doing anything, and I tend to
take it personal when he doesn't respond to
my suggestions.I just want him to be as good
as he can possibly be, and I want to do any
and everything I can to help him make that
happen.
We have to wait for insurance to approve the
tests he needs done to see where the blockage
is and how bad it is. Found out it was a typo
that caused the confusion with the doctors.
they put CAD which means coranary artery disease
when they meant to say carotid artery disease.
So, we wait again. I am not very good at that,
but, I believe there has been some improvement
in that area. Thank the Lord for that.

already?

Another week-end over too soon.
I didn't manage to get it all done,
but I just have a quick trip to the Big R for dog food,
and store for milk and one more load to fapa,
and I will be as done as I am going to be.
I actually spent a bit of time relaxing today.
Some of my friends from church gave me a gift today.
A HUGE pink purse (how did they know it's my favorite color?).
Inside was a soft scoooshy teddy bear(named him Disnee)
with a card to encourage me,
signed by many of the ladies that attend bible study.
What a blessing they are.
They consistently and faithfully hold me up.
I don't deserve them in my life, but am so very grateful for them.
One of the special gifts from a loving God.
So not alot to say today,
but it was too nice a day to leave without a comment.

happy heart

Well, alot has happened since my last post. We went to cardiologist Wednesday and after answering a whole lot of questions, he asked us why we were there. I nearly lost it. I told him that our primary care doc had set it up because of the blockage in Sid's carotid artery. He calmly tells us he doesn't do that type of work. I kept battling back and forth between, "it's OK God is in charge" to ARE YOU PEOPLE COMPLETELY CRAZY!!!.
(all of that inside my own mind.)
He must have seen my shock and dismay because he immediately said "let me make some calls"
Well, he set us up with a doctor that does do "THAT TYPE OF WORK" and also an appointment with a surgeon next week. We saw the doctor this afternoon, and after looking at the ultrasound of Sid's carotid and listening to the dopplar determined the blockage is more likely at about 70% not the 95% we had been told. He explained how the speed of the flow changes as it approaches the narrowing and as it leaves the narrowing. And based on that speed he determined the "tightening" (as he called it) wasn't as grave as we thought. Praise God.
I told him we had a trip planned.... he asks me where?..... I say Disneyland....... He says When I say Christmas.......He says pfft....no problem...
I finally exhaled for the first time I think in over a month.
He scheduled a dye cat scan that will show exactly where the "tightening" is and how bad it is.
He said at that point we will decide what if anything needs to be done, and if something does need done what the best option may be. Stints vs. surgery. He was awesome.
He encouraged Sid to strengthen up his body and set the goal of getting back on his motorcycle. He is the first doctor to do that. He said set the goal and if you get there you know that you earned it. I just met this guy, but I totally trust him and know without a doubt the Lord put us in his hands for a reason. We are so blessed and seems it takes some tough stuff to really see it.

giveaway

Ok I am doing this to enter the giveaway...I don't really want it for myself, I do want
to gift it to a special someone, though. So this blog is all about the free prize..