Missing Mom

Mother's day.
first one since we lost my dear sweet mother-in-law.
As I got ready for church this morning,
and realized I would once again be going alone.
I got it bad. feeling sorry for myself.
These are the ugly thoughts that go through my head.
And then I feel guilty for thinking them.
I will admit, I didn't stay there
as long as I normally do.
Thank you Lord.
I just sometimes wonder what is wrong with me.
Why must I always take everything so personally.
My sweet husband doesn't
always go to church with me,
but when he does,
I am thrilled.
I like being with him.
I didn't even think how missing his Mom may
have made him feel down and melancholy.
So once again I find myself
fighting with my selfishness.
Thank goodness God is patient.
I think I would have been done
with me a long time ago.
We did take the bikes for a nice cruise up
Chinook pass and stopped to eat.
We had a chance to chat.
He got to tell me that
he missed his Mom and felt
"weird" not knowing what to do today.
He always took his Mom to brunch
and usually his sisters as well.
Just another change in life
we get to grow through.
We have the great gift
of KNOWING
we will see her again.