reflections

Well, it has been a year and a half since Sid had a massive stroke.
Our lives were literally tipped over in a heartbeat.
He was paralyzed on his right side and unable to communicate at all.
He didn't know his own name or recognize his family and friends.
I snuck our dog Samson into the hospital that first night.
Sid loves that dog so much.
Turns out he had a carotid artery completely plugged.
The surgery was risky as the blood flow resuming could cause another stroke.
We had to take that chance, though.
It wouldn't change the damage that had already happened,
it would just unclog the artery.
After the surgery, the surgeon told us that Sid wouldn't get any better
and wouldn't be able to talk again.
I was devastated for like 5 seconds, and then

I was MAD..

I told that Dr. that he was a doctor and that I was a dummy,
but he had NO IDEA OF THE POWER OF GOD.

I told him that Sid would get better.
I was so afraid to say out loud to anyone(what if the Dr. is right?).
He was in the hospital for 10 days.
He was sent to the rehab unit for an estimated three week stint.
(My boss wired me the money because
the rehab place wouldn't take him without a $10,000.00 deposit.)
Well, God had other plans. Sid regained his physical abilities pretty quickly.
His 3 week $35,000.00 rehab stay turned into 4 days and $3,000.00.
The man who didn't know his own name
or where his nose was can now talk with some difficulty.
If you have the patience to listen to him,
he can carry on a conversation.
It has been a wonderful, horrible, exhilarating,
discouraging, hopeful,adventurous,never boring,
constantly learning more, love filled year.
That thanksgiving right after I was wondering how
I was going to pay for groceries
let alone the hospital bills.(no insurance)
We are too well off to qualify for help,
but still needed some.
If you own more than one car you have too many assets
to qualify for help. And I thought we were doing
good trying to stay out of debt..hmm
Once again God showed off.
Friends got together and anonymously slipped us a card with cash more than once.
The hospital reduced the bill a third and agreed to payments.
The church provided our thanksgiving meal.
Our income was cut in half and our bills more than doubled,
yet everything is paid on time.
THAT IS THE AWESOME POWER OF GOD!!!
Up until Oct 18 2008 Sid was driving and during the summer riding his new Harley.
Then he had a seizure..
He was 4 hours away visiting our son,
and the bottom dropped again..
Came to find out seizures aren't uncommon in
brain trauma victims( I sooo hate the word victim)
so no driving for 6 months and seizure meds.
No more seizures, and back to driving...YAY!!!
he did cheat a little bit.=]

It has been an awesome experience to know what I know.
I used to say I believe this and I believe that,
but now I can say I KNOW.
God will take care of us.
Don't get me wrong,
I haven't been thrilled with our circumstances.
I miss Sid the way he used to be.
I have also grown to love the new Sid that I am blessed to have still.
God's faithfulness has been such a gift to experience.
I said a year ago that Sid was going to be exactly
the way God wanted him to be and that I was going to love him.
I told people that we were going to be able
to look back on this past year and say
"Look what God did!"
That has proved to be true.
We've learned to not let our circumstances determine how we are going to be.
Sid still goes to speech therapy twice a week.
He continues to improve.
I changed jobs in April 2008.
The place I had been 17 yrs sold to another company.
The new job has way better medical insurance, which we are both on, now.
Less out of pocket and better coverage.
My Dad died in June,
We lost our old Dog Punkin on father's day
We lost Sid's mom in October.
It has been a season of many changes.
We miss our loved ones, but know they are with the Lord.
We will see them again.
I'm working on not living in fear, God makes that possible.
I am not able to do anything without Him.
We have been so blessed.
How many times have I taken God's blessings for granted?
Or taken credit myself.
Like I have any power of my own?!
I am such a silly creature.(horrid, too).
Thank God for loving me.
Anyway, I think that's enough out of me for now.