reflecting

As the 2 year anniversary of Sid's stroke approaches, I find myself in reflection.
Thoughts of how much our lives changed in that instant.
How we went to bed one night with plans for the next day, week,
month, years, and that all changed in a heartbeat. I find myself
full of gratitude for what we have and the blessings we have
received and also full of thoughts of what ifs. How would our
lives be if the stroke had never happened. would we still be
happy? in love? grateful for the simple things that are so often
taken for granted? Honestly the one thing I can't seem to let go
of the anger and sadness and that overwhelming sense of loss
is missing a plain old regular normal conversation. My man was the
talker in the family, and I just plain miss him. I literally got a new
husband that day. Don't misunderstand, I love him, just miss the
man I married. So I will be in this reflective way for the next few
days, and hope to focus on the gains and not the losses. For in
our loss we had enormous gain. For that I am grateful.